True form of Garhapatya or family life
Griha is that which is the source of self and universe and in which their dissolution also occurs. This is the reason for the tamil word ‘veedu’ to be called as ‘aham’. This word ‘aham’ is the name given to the soul which is ‘sat’ incarnate. The details as to how the word ‘aham’ has been coined are as under :
“Maheswara sabda sutras are 14 in number. The first sutra is ‘ A E U N’. The last sutra is “H A L’. From these two, i.e. A from the first sutra and Ha from the last sutra have been taken and joined following the rules of ‘Pratyahara’ and then the bindu ‘M’ has been added in accordance with the secrets regarding Bija. The resultant word is ‘AHAM’. Following the arrangement called ‘PRATYAHARA’, all source syllables and letters called as ‘Aksharas’ are contained in ‘‘AHAM’’. From this it can be understood that ‘sabda’ or ‘sound’ is eternal and represented by varnas. The name ‘Akshara itself indicates the nature of the content. ‘Kshara’ in sanskrit means that which is changeable or impermanent. ‘Akshara’ is that which is unchangeable and eternal.”
This word ‘AHAM’ contains another secret. ‘A’ stands for Siva and ‘HA’ stands for Sakti in her full glory. The bindu ‘M’ is representative of Ishwara which is the seed of viswa or the universe. So by the word ‘AHAM’, the form of the seed of the universe which is the principle of the cause of creation is indicated. More clarification on this should be obtained through penance or a Divine Guru. So this word ‘AHAM’ is ‘SAT’ incarnate. This ‘SAT’ is the expression of ‘CIT’.
To a great extent, the relationship between the creation of the genders also can be understood from the above. The word ‘griha’ is indicative of the abode of the couple and not of the materials used for construction like brick, mortar etc. Even if the couple are not in possesssion of a physical house and are roaming in the forest, the words like ‘grihani’ griha’ etc. would still be applicable to them. From these things, the real meaning of the word ‘griha’ or ‘aham’ can be understood in a proper perspective. The mistress of the ‘aham’ of the true husband is the wife or ‘grihani’ and vice versa. The couple attain the status of ‘pati’ and ‘patni’ when they move away from a state of ignorance of limited perception (jiva), by remaining in the best of family life and realising their true form (siva) and nature. The husband and wife bound by divine love exist in a state where they have possession of the souls of each other.
The couple who are enjoying such a divine form of family life can be considered as having been liberated or attained immortality while leading a normal life. This type of conjugal life can be classified as belonging to the most supreme type, that of Siva and Sakti.
Agni upasana is an important part of “Grihasthaasramam”, . The element “Fire” is the external form of “Chitagni”, which is manifest in the entire creation, being Brahmam itself in the micro-cosmic level. There is a close and subtle relationship between Agni and Women “i.e. Stree Srushti. Due to this, all Daampathya Dharma anushtanams are to be observed by both of them together. This will take them further in the path of Realisation.
Agni Upasana is not just the worship of the physical Fire alone. As a matter of fact Agni is worshipped in the Physical Fire. Since there is a close relationship between Agni and woman, this worship is possible and get its fulfilment only after marriage. This Agni upasana has to be continued as long as you live and thereafter, upon death, offer the physical body as oblation to the same Agni , which was worshipped throughout life.. This Agni, that was worshipped is from Chithagni, which is the Moola Vastu (root cause). This is known as “Sivaagni” or Parachith in Srividhya
Leading the Daampathya life as per Vedic tenets, one gets the knowledge about Shakthi. “Shakthi Jignaasa”, as it is called, is very much essential to understand the co-relation between Srushti, its manifestations and Brahmam itself. Everyday activities like sleeping, waking, going about one’s normal work, begetting children and all other activities are done as oblations to the Supreme Being. The Daampathya life has to be lived throughout our lifespan
Under any circumstance, the couple should not discard the worship of vivaha agni everyday. This rule applies to all the men and women of hindu religion in whose marriages, agni plays an important role. The worship of agni is common to all hindus. This worship should be normally done with agni in three abodes and if found impossible, at least worship of agni should be done in a single abode. No benefit accrues out of any vedic rituals to those couples who have discarded the mandatory daily agni worship. Those people who are desirous of remaining hindus and who have faith in vedas, should necessarily do this daily agni worship. The ultimate cremation of the bodies of the couple is done only in this agni which has been tended by them during their entire lifetime.
All the married couples have to understand these true principles. Men and women enjoy their full fruits of creation only when they understand and experience the true form of family life. So it is imperative that each man and woman should increase their spiritual powers and understand the truth about creation etc. through austerities by following the path advocated by the vedas.